SAm u best read this and like it!
by Beautifully Oblivious
Summary: Sam... u r blessed to be able to read this... I AM ALL POWERFUL...


Two mysterious girls wandered around the dark hallways of a school, each with two books open, flipping through the pages and looking around. The shorter of the two was a brunette with dark brown hair pulled up in a ponytail and dark brown eyes, hidden behind a pair of black sunglasses. Her long black trench coat trailed behind her as her army boots making a soft thud with each step she took. She was clad in a black 'everlast' tank top on with a pair of black jeans.   
She looked over to her companion and asked her, "Yo, Nettey, Do you have any idea where we are?"  
The other girl looked over to her with a 'What do you think' look, "Chelsea, we have been walking around the hall aimlessly for about an hour... does it look like I know where we are?"  
Chelsea cringed but then laughed, "No, but your older... you supposed to be the responsible one here..."  
Nettey laughed and turned forward again, flipping through her two books as they continued to walk in silence.  
Jeanette, or Nettey as she liked to be called, was just a little taller then Chelsea, but not by much. Her shoulder length black hair clashed with her sparkling green eyes. She was dressed in a sleek pair of dark jeans and a white tank top. Her sneakers squeaked when she walked.  
"I told you we should have made a left turn at the stair case" Chelsea said with a wave of annoyance.  
Nettey turned and muttered a quick "It wouldn't matter anyway" as they passed a picture of a woman dressed in all white, for the third time in 12 minutes.  
"Well, according to the Prisoner of Azkaban we should have made a right up those stairs." Chelsea sighed closing the book in her right hand with a flick of her wrists. "And the goblet of Fire isn't helping much. I start drooling each time I see Sirius's name."  
"Home come you go the books with Remus and Sirius." Nettey whined, closing her books as well. "I only get Tom Riddle."  
"And a prepubescent Draco Malfoy might I add." Chelsea said with a grin. "Now lets just go ask that suit of armor where the hell the Gryffindor tower is."  
And so it went on the two teenagers went up to a suit of armor and asked where the hell the Gryffindor tower is. After many wrong turns and arguing they found them selves in front of a sleeping fat lady.  
"Now what are we going to do?" Nettey sighed, slumping down on the floor. "We can't just bust in there like Sirius did."  
"And why not?" Chelsea asked, standing in front of the portrait hole.  
"We don't have a knife genius." Nettey snapped looking up at her with angry green eyes.  
Chelsea turned to look at her moping Italian friend and said with a smile, "We might not have a knife... let's just say that... two weapons of destruction decided to follow us home."  
Nettey's face lit up as a grin flashed across her face. She stood up and brushed the dust off of her clothes as she walked next to Chelsea.   
"They're here?" Nettey asked excitedly as Chelsea nodded. "Are you serious?"  
"Look at the obvious, Nano Nette always follows you around and Chibi Chel is usually glued to my side, now they have to be around here somewhere." Chelsea said, looking around her.  
"You right." Nettey laughed, "Now let's just find them before they do something stupid."  
And the two girls began to frantically look around the halls near the portrait hole for their counterparts. Now why would somebody be so worried to find two children? You don't know Chibi Chel and Nano Nette.  
Chibi Chel looked like a 4-year-old version of Chelsea, with an insane asylum escapist mind. Her dark brown hair was usually down or up in a ponytail with pieces of hair framing her face. Her large brown eyes held an innocence that let here get away with anything. She, just as Chelsea did, had a split personality, which came in handy sometimes. Chibi Chel almost always found a way to get in trouble, and could turn any harmless object, such as a spoon, in to a potentially fatal weapon. And she absolutely loved getting her hands on Chelsea's broad sword, which was taller than she was, and swinging it around Chelsea's bedroom, trying to fight the people that Chelsea drew on her wall. Chelsea now has to keep all of her weapon in very high places; she wouldn't want Chibi Chel to get her hands on her throwing knives, now would she? But he good thing about Chibi Chel is that she would stick up for her friends at all costs. You think getting One Chibi angry is insane? Well when you get Chibi Chel mad... You get Nano Nette Mad... and when that happens, you just bought your self and one way ticket to hell.   
Nano Nette follows Nettey around everywhere. She has her sleek black hair in a messy bun and her green eyes framed with black rimmed glasses. She was about a third of the size of Nettey and was very bossy. If she didn't like something, she didn't hesitate in saying so. It was mostly "I want this" out of her tiny mouth. Even if she did get on Nettey nerves most of the time, the two were every close. If you messed with Nettey you got your ass kicked by Nano Nette. The same with Chelsea. Nano Nette didn't like seeing her friends being bothered. Nano Nette was very close to Chibi Chel and most of the time the two reeked havoc on Chel and Nettey.  
"Where would they be?" Nettey thought aloud.  
Then it hit her. Where else would they be then bothering Draco Malfoy.  
"Chel," Nettey started "I think I know where they are"  
"Where" Chel said, eager to find Chibi Chel.  
"What blond hair, evil minion are they bound to be bothering?" Nettey asked   
The realization dawned on Chelsea  
"To the dungeons" Chel said   
They both Laughed as they skipped down the nearest staircase. The two girls wandered around the school, ever going lower and lower there were a few close calls, but the girls jumped in to the shadows or behind coats or armor. The continued to walk around the halls in silence until they heard a familiar voice.  
"CRABBE! GOYLE! GET THEM OFF OF ME!"  
The two girls grinned and burst out in to a sprint and rounded the corner and burst out laughing.  
It seems that Chibi Chel and Nano Nette had found the object of every female Slytherin affections, Draco Malfoy. Chibi Chel and Nano Nette each clung to one of Draco's legs, neither looked like they were going to let go anytime soon. Draco two goons were helpless against the two little ones as if they came any closer... Chibi Chel and Nano Nette would try to bite their head off... literally.   
Chelsea and Nettey looked at each other and nodded. They walked forward and flashed their badges.   
"FHGOA. What seem to be the problem here?" Chelsea asked as the reached the blonde haired hottie.  
"What? Who are you and what are these?" Draco demanded pointing down to the two Minis'.   
"I am Nettey and this is Chelsea, co founders of FHGOA. Fictional Hot Guy Obcessors Anonymous. I'm sorry sir, but you are going to have to come with us."  
"W-W-What!" Draco spat, "I want to talk to my lawyer! This isn't fait. I'm RICH AND SEXY THIS SHOULDN'T BE HAPPENENING TO ME!"  
"Well, the reason you are coming with us is you are sexy, so shut up and stop complaining." Nettey said, her hand on her hip, one hand twirling a pair of handcuff.  
"Oh wait I almost forgot." Chelsea laughed as she clapped her hands and Chibi Chel came running to her side.  
"Chelsea! Chelsea! Chelsea! Chelsea!" Chibi Chel sang, "My and Nano Nette found some boy... b-b-b-ut he was like you and... HE DOESN'T HAVE A MINI ME!"  
"Aww, don't worry Chibi Chel." Chelsea said, knelling down and looking though the inside pockets of her trench coat until she pulled out a wand. "Watch." Chelsea took the wand and aimed it at Draco. "Draco, Draco sexy as you may be... Our little ones need a playmate... So out comes your mini me!"  
A flash of light shot from the wand and hit Draco square in the head.  
"Nice aim" Nettey Commented as they watched the scene unfold in front of them.   
Draco dropped to his knees and held his head and a bright flash of silver light sprung from his forehead and a Diminutive Draco stood before him, clad in Malfoy robes of Green and black.  
"Aww!" Nettey and Chelsea sighed together as Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, Chibi Chel, and Nano Nette looked on in awe.  
"MINE!" Nano Nette cried as she ran forward, ready to tackle Diminutive Draco.  
"No Mine!" Chibi Chel yelled as she to ran toward the Mini Blonder wonder.  
"Mine!" Nano Nette said as she crabbed his left hand.  
"Mine!" Chibi Chel snapped as she grabbed his right hand.  
"Mine"   
"Mine"   
"Mine"   
"Mine"   
"Mine"  
"Please, Ladies, There is enough of me to go around!" Diminutive Draco pleaded as he was being pulled back and forth.  
"Man he is as cocky as the real Draco is." Nettey commented as the real Draco tried to sneak away with Crabbe and Goyle.  
"Oh no you don't!" Chelsea yelled as she stalked forward, but the three Slytherin broke out in a run.   
"Get them!" Nettey cried as she to ran after them.  
"If I remember correctly," Nettey said trying hard to remember "We should make a left here..."  
Sure enough Crabbe Goyle and Draco were running down the corridor.  
"Oh no you don't" Chel said as she pointed her wand at Draco "Accio Malfoy"  
Draco Malfoy came shooting down the hallway and knocked into Nettey and Chelsea causing them all to fall over.  
"Why Draco" Nettey drawled. Draco was currently on top of her ' I didn't know you felt that way"  
Chelsea smirked at the scared sexy Malfoy.  
After a moment of confusion Nettey had Draco restrained in her 'just in case' hand cuffs. Chibi Chel, Nano Nette and Diminutive Draco showed up, Nano Nette glued to Draco's side. Chibi Chel appeared happy to see Chelsea though and she merrily skipped to her side.  
"Here Chibi Chel." Chelsea said handing Chibi Chel her wand after whispering 'lumos' "You get to hold this is Draco face like in all of those Mafia movie we watch ok?"  
"Yay!" The Chibi sang as she rushed over and held the wand in Draco face, giggling.  
"Draco Malfoy... as a prisoner of FHGOA you will tell us of all people who are in the school who would be in our interest."  
"Over my dead body." Draco hissed.  
Chelsea glared at him but then smiled. She snapped her fingers and Chibi Chel gave Draco a hard hit on the head with Chelsea's stolen wand.   
"Draco dear." Nettey purred, "I would tell her what she asks, both of them are a bit-."  
"Insane!" Draco yelled, his voice echoing off the hall walls.  
"You can bet your sweet ass we are." Chelsea laughed "Now tell us or I shall have Chibi Chel go postal on you."  
Chibi Chel made a vulgar gesture in the air.  
"Alright! All right! I'll talk. Lupin and Black are here... and those poor - Ow! - Wesley's are here as well. Their having a quidditch captain reunion tonight, and all of the students why?" he said uncertainly.  
"Remus is so mine." Chelsea declared with a hungry look in her eyes.   
"Then I get Sirius!" Nettey said, putting a collar on Draco's neck. "And I get Fred!"  
"Then I'll get George, you know. So that way we'll have a matching set."  
"I shot gun Bill and Percy!" Nettey Laughed, sitting down on Draco's lap, who was looking all but happy.   
"Then Charlie and widdle ronnikins are mine, isn't that right Chibi Chel." Chelsea giggled.   
"What about potter?" Nettey asked, looking up at Chelsea with questioning green eyes.   
A silence  
"Ill take him."  
"Fine with me, then I get Oliver wood."  
"Then I get Flint. What about Snape?" Chelsea asked, sitting down on the floor across form Nettey and a struggling Draco.  
Nettey paused to think, "We can share him."  
"That's cool. I get Justin."  
"Then I get my little Irish boy SEAMUS! And you get dean"  
"Crabbe and Goyle... they can have each other." Chelsea said, causing the three to shudder.  
"I want the Veela Bitch's date to the Yule ball!"  
"Davies?"  
"Yeah! And what about Blaise? What does he look like? Is he even a guy?"  
"Yeah." Nettey answered in a matter of fact tone.  
"How do you know, we've never seen... it." Chelsea said, trying to find the right words.  
Nettey clears her through before continuing, "Blaise, a 1-syllable boy's name of Greek/Latin origin, means: Stammerer;. It has religious backgrounds in Saints."  
"Wow... He's a stammerer,"  
"I love my stammerer!"  
"What about Lucius? I mean yes, he is hot and all, and he has a lot of, um, problems. And he is a manipulative bastard and all..." Chelsea began uncertainly.  
"But we love manipulative bastards! Don't we Draco." Nettey laughed as she pinched the blonde boys' cheek.   
"Which brings us to and what about Voldemort.... I wouldn't mind having Tom Riddle... but Heroic Harry had to go and kill him... and the whole coming back from the dead thing is a turn off." Chelsea shuddered.  
"Umm.... Voldie can have Pettigrew. Peter is a dickless fuck anyway, those two would get along great together." Nettey decided for them.  
"And I think that is." Chelsea announced, standing up and brushing the dust off of her trench coat.  
Draco stared at the two teenager girls in disbelief. "You - You two are such..."  
"Manizers?" Chelsea suggested  
"Men Killers?"   
"Oh Oh I know! Playettes!" Chelsea said, the two girls erupting in to giggles.  
"You two are sick!" Draco drawled in a sexy Malfoy voice, sneering at the two girls.   
Chelsea and Nettey merely looked at him and smiled, before Nettey launched her self at an unsuspecting Draco.   
Draco, who was totally unprepared "snogging session, was caught off guard. He was released from Nettey's grip by Chelsea who pulled her off.  
"why'd ya do that!?" Nettey pouted  
"Come on!" Chel said laughing, "Lets go find Sirius and Remi!"  
The two laughed and skipped off to Gryffindor tower, with Chibi Chel and Nano Nette behind, holding Draco. They finally got to the Fat Lady, who was still sleeping.  
"Draco, I know you know the password, so if you want to have children" Chel said indicating Chibi Chel and Nano Nette, "I suggest you give us the password"  
Draco paled then quickly stammered "Ear wig!! Ear wig!"  
The fat lady snorted and swung aside. Chel and Nettey looked at each other and grinned.  
They both quickly ran into the common room and saw Ron and Hermionie having a fight. To there dismay Sirius and Remus were no where in sight.  
"Oh here we go again" Nettey mumbled as Hermione screamed at Ron.  
Chel had a different plan in mind.   
"Oh just shut up and kiss her'' She said throwing some of the popcorn she had just conjured at them.  
Ron turned red and then changed the subject.  
"Why is MALFOY in our common room?" he bellowed.  
Malfoy just sneered and answered "It seems that these two, beautiful, but insane girls have taken me captive. Trust me. I do NOT wanna be in this Mudblood infested place" Draco cringed looking at Hermione.  
"Hey." Chelsea snapped. "Be nice or I will sick Chibi Chel and Nano Nette on you."  
"What's so dangerous about two little children?" Ron scoffed.  
Chelsea narrowed her eyes and Chibi Chel did as well. Nano Nettey Drew her attention away from diminutive Draco and joining the two glaring brunettes.  
"Well you see, Ronniekins." Chelsea drawled, a small smile coming to her face, "These are not your normal every day children.  
"Yes," Nettey said, smirking. "They are our Mini Me's. And yes they are a it deranged, and vengeful, but that make them all the loveable."  
"And if you say one more comment about the little ones..." Chelsea snapped her finger and the Chibi and Nano stalked over to an arm chair and proceeded to rip in to pieces."  
Ron stared on in disbelief. "I don't believe you."  
Snap. Chelsea just smiled as the two Little Ones turned and glared at Ron, who's face suddenly paled. The Chibi and Nano charged Ron, who screamed like a girl and began to run around the room, the two Little Ones close at his heels, laughing.  
Chelsea and Nettey were thoroughly enjoying themselves, thinking how this couldn't get any better, but the portrait hole opened and drew their attention away. In stepped the King of Chaos and Mr. Animal Magnetism Themselves, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Both girls dropped everything that they were doing, and stared at the two Marauders. Slowly they faced each other, a maniacal gleam in their eyes. Remus and Sirius looked at all of the commotion in the room and failed to notice the two drooling muggles. Chelsea and Nettey Nodded at the same time and immediately pounced on the two unsuspecting men.  
"What the?" Remus managed to get out before Chelsea pounced on him, sending the werewolf flying back.  
"Hi." Chelsea said, sitting on his chest, smiling down on him. "FHGOA." she giggled, flipping her badge. "You're mine now."  
Remus just stared at her in disbelief. "I don't think so." Remus tried to get up but Chelsea refused to move. Remus tried once again, but still with no prevail. "You should feel lucky." Chelsea laughed jerking her head over towards Nettey and Sirius, and the scene they were making on the ground.  
"Seriously! Sirius you are old enough to be her father!" Remus called to his best friend who was being occupied by Nettey, leaving Draco shooting daggers at practically every one in the room with his diminutive Draco, while Ron was still being chased by the Little One's.  
"Well not really." Sirius said, while he came up for air, "It's more like... the best friends older brother."  
"Yeah whatever," Nettey Mumbled.  
"See what I'm saying." Chelsea said in a sweet voice. "Now if you cooperate and be a nice little boy, it will make this easier on your part."  
"Wh-what?" Remus stammered, trying to get away, but Chelsea just held on even harder with her knees and she searched the inside pockets of her trench coat. "Ah here we go." She said victoriously as she pulled out a bottle of black liquid.   
Remus's eyes burst open as he looked at the bottle nervously, "Wh- What's that?"  
"Remus darling. You have to learn how to trust me. Now open wide." Chelsea said sweetly, opening his mouth and forcing the black potion down his throat.   
Chelsea crawled off of him as Remus body began to transform, growing smaller and smaller until he stopped. Chelsea smiled at him and helped him up.  
"There." Chelsea said, brushing the dust off of him, "That's so much better."  
"Huh?" Remus asked, but then put his hands to his throat in surprise. "My voice what did you do to my voice!"  
"Congratulations Mr. Lupin." Chelsea laughed as she linked arms with him; "You are now officially 16 again."  
Chelsea tossed the bottle to Nettey and Sirius voluntarily took it himself. Soon he to began to get younger. Harry potter picked the perfect time to walk in to the common room. One look at his godfather and teacher and he fainted on the spot.  
"What's all the commotion" Bellowed an extremely strict voice followed by an extremely cute freckled body  
Percy Wesley, along with Bill, Charlie, Fred and George, came strolling out of the staircase leading to the boy's dorm. Nettey jumped off a very disappointed Sirius while Chel was a little reluctant to get off Remus.  
"Oh just tie him up, and save him for later, Chel!" Nettey whined. "We need to get them," She said indicating the group of Wesley's  
"Oh fine! Whatever" Chel grumbled as she got off Remus and quickly tied him up. "Do you want me to tie up Sirius too?"  
"Yea," Nettey answered, advancing on the unsuspecting Wesey's "Tie up Potter while your at it"  
Chel finished tying up Remus and went over to Sirius who willingly let him self be tied up.  
When she was finished she went over to the unconscious body of Harry. While she was tying up his Godson Sirius turned to Remus and Grinned. Remus, who could not find the humor in being kidnapped by two possible insane muggles, didn't grin back  
"Sirius" Remus started in a forced controlled voice. "What could you possibly be grinning at"  
Sirius flashed his famous "Marauder Grin" and said "Rem, you cant tell me that you never fantasized about this, being kidnapped and turned into your 16 year old self."  
Remus just stared at his crazy friend  
"All done" Chel screamed indicating the three captive bodies.  
"Good." Nettey laughed looking up the stairs the oh so sexy Wesley boys. "FHGOA I am going to have to ask all hot boys with flaming red hair to please step forward in an orderly fashion."  
"What about me!" Ron cried as he ran past them, the two little one not growing tired of the game of 'lets see who can make Ron cry first'  
"Oh." Chelsea called after him, "Sorry!" she snapped her fingers and the two Little Ones stopped and immediately returned to their bigger counter parts.  
Ron stopped running, his head between his knees, panting for air, his face red form running around. "D- don't listen to them. They're crazy!"  
"You were expecting anything less from us?" Chelsea asked him sincerely then burst out laughing, "You have no idea."  
"So as I said before, if all hot boys with red hair please come forward." Nettey called up again, her hands on her hip.  
Fred and George looked at each other a broke out in to broad grins as the tumbled down the stairs coming to Nettey side.  
Nettey just smiled and looked at them uncertainly... "Fred?"  
"That's me!" The twin on the left said as he jumped to Nettey side.  
"George." Chelsea called in a sing song voice, giving him her best 'come hither look'  
"Ok... how about hot guys with flaming long red hair." Nettey tried again, trying to coax the other brothers down.   
Bill grinned and stomped down the stairs, his fang earring dangling.  
"Your mine." Nettey said, grabbing his arm, grinning.  
"How about, adorable red haired boys with glasses and an obsession for cauldron bottoms..." Nettey called up, winking at Percy.   
He didn't come down. He just stood there his arms cross over his chest his nose in the air.   
Nettey was about to call him again but Chelsea cut her off. She stepped forward and yelled, "Percy dammit, if you don't come down here on the count of there I'm coming up there and going postal on you! And don't under estimate me! I'm a girl with an assortment of lethal weapons my coat and I'm not afraid to use them! got it! 1... 2..."  
"I refuse to come down." Percy shouted back, his nose even higher in the air. he looke dover to see his last remaining brother, but it came to his surprise to see him trotting down the stairs.  
"Sorry Perce." Charlie said over is shoulder, "But not only do I respect a girl who can kick my ass, but I fear them as well."  
"I can not be-" Percy began but was cut off by Nettey  
"Shut up and get your cute ass down here or ill have Chibi Chel and Nano Nette rip you apart like a pack of wild chimaeras on crack." Nettey yelled, her hands flying all over the place.  
"Chima- What?" Ron asked, receiving a disapproving look from Hermione.  
"Honestly!" she sighed, "don't you know anything! Chimaera- ministry of magic classification-XXXXX (5X)-a known wizard killer/impossible to train or domesticate- The Chimaera is a rare Greek monster with a lions head, a goats body, and a dragons tail. Vicious and blood thirsty, The Chimaera is extremely dangerous. There is only one know slaying of a Chimaera and the unlucky wizard fell to his death from a winged horse( see page 42) shortly afterwards, exhausted from his efforts. Chimaera eggs are classified as Class A non-tradable goods!"  
"Well, then Hagrid will be getting one of them any time now." Ron sighed earnestly.  
Nettey and Chelsea looked at their findings like they were a big gourmet canoli. And we all know how much they love canolies.   
Chel went to Charlie and jumped into his arms.  
Nettey patrolled her guys stopping to make comments when she stopped at Bill she looked him up and down  
"Don't ever listen to your mother and cut your hair. You look absolutely yummy with this long red hair."  
Bill grinned a Sirius like grin.  
She then walked over to Percy  
"Hey Perce, I thought we could talk about caldron bottoms" Nettey said running a finger along the side of his face. Percy Puffed out his chest and started on the importance of thick bottomed caldrons. Ron covered his ears and the twins both chanted make him stop. Make him stop. Chel looked annoyed at being interrupted with her little snog with George.  
"Nettey, shut him up or I will" she threatened  
"Actually, Perce I was thinking for along the lines of This caldron bottom" Nettey said as she grabbed his ass and kissed him.  
Fred looked on in amazement as he saw Percy getting kissed  
"Well I never thought I live to see the day..." he said  
"Well. Now that we've got our men, let's set off and look for some new victims shall we Nettey?" Chelsea asked as Nettey broke away from a very surprised Percy.  
"Sure, sounds good to me." Nettey said as the two girls merrily walked over to Remus and Sirius and began to untie them.   
When the two sex symbols were untied, Chelsea caught Nettey staring at Remus's cute little butt.  
"Nuh uh." Chelsea said, standing in front of Remus protectively, even though he was a head taller than she was "My Remus, No look, No touch."  
It looked like a light bulb went off in Nettey's head and she grinned as she pulled Chelsea off to the side. "What do you say we switch?"  
"S-Switch?" Chelsea stammered, not liking the idea at all.  
"You know, You get Sirius and I get Remus. Only for a bit!" Nettey pleaded.  
"No. You were the one who wanted the sex driven captain testosterone over there. Remus is MINE!" Chelsea argued.  
"But you get Sirius! And he is like siriusly amazing!" Nettey said, trying to coax Chelsea in to switching.  
"No, and that was not funny." Chelsea snapped crossing her arms over her chest.  
Nettey was about to retaliate but she felt a small hand pulled on her own and Chelsea felt somebody pull on her coat. The two girls looked down and saw their little ones, with smiles on their faces.  
"What's up?" Chelsea asked Chibi Chel, bending down to her height.  
"Hermy ninny!" Chibi Chel laughed  
"Who?" Nettey asked Nano Nette.  
Nano pointed over to where they had left Remus and Sirius and saw a bushy haired brunette ALL OVER our favorite marauders.  
Chelsea and Nettey's eyes narrowed and they both slowly rose. The two little one were so pleased with themselves that they helped cause a fight. Nettey and Chelsea stormed over and each girl grabbed a shoulder and pulled the brunette bitch back.  
"What do you think you are doing!" Nettey screamed as Chelsea rummaged throughout the bottomless pockets in her coat.   
"I can hit on anybody I want to." Hermione scoffed, "What are you going to do about it?"  
"You can hit on Ron... and that's it!" Nettey shouted back at her, stepping at her, daring her to fight.  
Chelsea finally found what she was looking for and placed it in one of her pants pockets. She stepped in front of Nettey and smiled at Hermione. "Hermione dear, you must understand th-"  
She never got to finish. Hermione bitch slapped her.  
The entire room hushed. The little ones jumped behind an armchair and Draco and his mini me dove behind with them, not that Nettey or Nano Nette minded.  
Chelsea placed a hand on her stinging cheek, her eyes burning red. "Do you know what you just did?" Chelsea hissed, shooting Hermione a genuine death look. "You just bitch slapped a second degree black belt who has an entire arsenal in her coat and no tolerance for people like you. now... I don't usually do this... but you touched my Remus... that deserves the death penalty, don't you agree Nettey?"  
"Ya! 'Specially for our two Babies!" Nettey called out from behind the couch.   
Hermione whipped out her wand and screamed "Adeva Kadevra!"  
Chelsea ducked and just missed being hit with the curse.  
"Kiddies close your eyes!" Chelsea yelled as the room goes black. "Good bye Hermione dear," the audience hears the click of a gun, "Omae o Korosu." were the last words Chelsea said before a bang was heard and the lights turned back on.  
Chelsea had her arm straight out, stun gun in hand, looking like she came straight out of the matrix. At that moment the two little one danced around in a circle singing 'Ding-dong the witch is dead."  
Chelsea smiled, put the gun back in her coat and shrugged. "Oops." guess I let my anger get away with me again," she laughed looking at Nettey, who was clapping.  
"Come on." Nettey said, "We must hide the body."   
"That's was fun." Chelsea laughed, "is that what it's like to whack someone? You should try it, it gets allot off the chest."  
"I get the next bitch that decides to challenge us" Nettey declared, clapping her hands and the body was gone. She clapped her hands twice and the lights went out.  
"Whoa, wait... since when does hogwarts have the clapper?"  
"Who cares how the lights went out!" Nettey said straddling Sirius "Just make good use of it"  
"Good Idea" Chelsea said right before she grabbed Remus.  
A few hours and a good snog later the door to the common room opened and in walked Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas.  
Chel jumped off Remus and gave him a peck on the cheak before prying Nettey off Sirius.  
"What you changed your mind?" Nettey said excitedly "You'll switch for a second?"  
''HELL NO!" Chel said "For the last time we will NOT swich"  
"Who are you" said a irish acsent  
"FHGAO" Nettey and Chelsea said together  
"Your going to have to go with your friends there" she turned her head and indicated her pile of men  
Chel was buzy working with dean  
"Where are you taking me, what is this" Dean was saying franticly  
"Yea whats going on here" Seamus started in "Why is Harry unconscious"  
Nettey looked over at the boy who was still unconscious. She turned to Chel and said "Maybe we should wake him up"  
"Yea i guess so" Chel said "more guys for me"  
Remus didnt look happy with the last statement. Nettey took notice. She went over to him and muttered something in his ear. He turned bright red and didnt answer her. Nettey's smile widened with his silence.  
"So its true then" She finally said  
He still didnt talk  
"Just what i though"  
Remus turned ever redder.  
Chel who woke up Harry, was now explaining to a unrational Harry that she was not Voldermort and FHGAO does not stand for Freaky Hairbrained Girls Are Obsessive. Harry wouldnt have it thought. He was kicking and screaming, before long Sirius just got feed up and hit him with a sleeping spell.  
"Sorry James" Sirius said looking up "But your son is looney."  
As Harry was placed back to sleep Nettey pulled Chel over to the side and watched Remus squirm. She has a mischievous grim on her ruby red lips that made chel ask what she has done.  
"What makes you think i did something" Nettey said pouting  
Because" Chel started " You and Sirius were made for each other, you cant look innocent"  
Nettey grinned wider at the mention on Sirius' name.  
"You got it bad..." Chel got out before Nettey whispered "Remus"  
Chelsea's eyes glazed over and a goofy smile appeared on her lips. Nettey just smirked, hand on on hip and said "Im not the only one thats got it bad!"  
Chel smiled then frowned "Stop avoiding the subject, what did you do"  
"I didnt do anything, like i said before but," she paused making her point more effective " i just wanted to know how you felt about Remus?"  
"What do you mean" chel started defensively "Im not switching god damn it"  
"No, no" nettey said with a smirk "I just wanna know"  
"Well" Chel said coosing her words "I think im in..."  
"Love?" nettey supplyed  
"Yea" Chel sighed drifting into a dream world of her and Remus  
"What was that?" a maniacale 16 year old sirius siad as she poked his head in to the worng business.  
Chelsea promptly turned 17 shades of red before pulling on her sunglasses (like thats gunna help) and stalking away to check on her Chibi he black coak billowing out behind her.  
Nettey smiled sweetly and looked at sirius, who had the same mischievous look as she held. "I think Miss Violence has a weak spot, wouldn't you agree?"  
Sirius just grinned even wided and replied, "I think Mr. Moony feels the same, are you thinking of what i'm thinking?"  
Nettey leaned over and kissed sirius on the cheek, "Sirius baby, you are a genius"  
the two 16 year old then ran of to a corner of the room to plot on their two friends, who unknowingly sat on the ther side of the room.  
Meanwhile...  
"Chewsea Chewsea!" Chibi chel laughed as she pulled on her bigger counter parts coat, "acodway isyay yingtway otay etgay awayyay!"  
Piglatin was chibi chel and chelsea way of talking in secret. "Draco's trying to get away!" chelsea gasped as she pulled a rope out of her bag and called over to her partner in crime. "Yo Nettey! Draco is trying to get away!"  
as soon as this was said many things happened. Nettey cleared an armchair and a table trying to get to draco. chelsea was trying to get chibi chel untangled from the rope, draco was frantically trying to get away from Nettey, Nano Nette had Diminutive Draco tied to a chair but the two teenage psychopaths stopped dead when the owner of the sexiest voice in the world popped out of no where.  
"Bloody damn Time turned!" Oliver wood muttered as he shook his head and looked around his old common room. "What the-"  
"OH MY GOD!" Nettey screamed like the crazed fan she wa and ran towards him, chelsea closed behind.  
"OLIVER FREGGIN WOOD IS SO MINE!" nettey yelled just before she pounced on top of him, "Hi."  
"FHGOA" Chelsea said, flashing her badge and her pearly whites as well. "Can i just listen to your voice?"  
"can i just... kidnap you?" Nettey giggled, looking like she should belong in a mental institution.   
"B-b-b-but Nettey." sirius called, seeming a bit insecure, "What about us?"  
"Not right now Sirius im busy!" Nettey yelled, not taking her eyes from Oliver's.  
Sirius's eyes grew as he slumped down to the floor, remus walked next to him and laid a hand on his shoulder, "Sorry sirius, looks like she dumped you."  
"B-B but im SIRIUS BLOODY BLACK! i dont get dumped!"  
"You have the most amazing voice" Chel purred at Oliver  
"Now" nettey said with a flick of her wrist "You. Are. Mine"  
Oliver was tied up and Draco was positioned on the couch along side Seamus, Dean Harry and the Weasley boys.   
"Damn it" Draco muttered  
Nettey just smiled, She blew a kiss at Sirius who was looking a bit disgruntled about being left alone in a corner for a Oliver Wood.  
"Now Oliver, hunny" Nettey said while producing a muggle tape recorder out of her pocket. "I want you to talk into this untill this button "she indicated the play button "pops up"  
"What do you want me to say" Oliver protested  
Chel started drooling as soon as he started talking  
"Oh just anything" Nettey replied, sitting down getting ready to hear more of Oliver's sexy accent  
Sirius and Remus were still in the corner talking, both looked visibly upset. Chel ripped her attention away from Oliver's voice and went to talk to Chibi Chel and Nano Nette  
"Now girls" Chel said to the two mini's "This is very important, i want you to find out what Remmi and Siri are upset about with out them knowing you two are listining"  
Chibi Chel and Nano Nette just grinned, after all they were more useful then a invisibility cloak  
Chel looked back at Sirius and Remus. She followed Sirius' eyes and say what he was so intensely staring at, Nettey. She looked back at Sirius and saw Remus turn his head down very quickly while he was blushing furiously.  
"What is that about" Chel wondered aloud  
Oh come on chels!" Nettey sighed, "Are you that oblivous?"  
"Blissfully." Chel laughed, she tunred back to oliver and asked sweetly, "Oliver, can you explain the game of quidditch to me again?"  
While oliver was exlpaing to a melt chelsea about quidditch in his oh so sexy accent, nano nette and chibi chel were walking in the shadows, chibi chel had to stick her fist in her mouth to keep her self from giggling. Nano nette was grinning in the darkness, a malevolent look on her face. She was doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing, well, she did that most of the time but now it was to find out about the two cute boys sulking in the corner, and we all know how much she liked to get her little nose in to everything.   
Chibi Chel on the other hand was doing this for sheer fact that she thought it was funny to see the Remus boy turn the brightest shade of red. Then as she thought of it more she found it funny to see Chelsea turn 17 shades of red as well.   
Soon the two little girls where close enough to see the two sulking boys, close enough to here them talking.  
"This isn't fair!" Sirius mutter looking back up at Nettey then back down again, "This never happened when we went to school. Girls back then knew what was good for them and they all went out with me! And didn't leave me for some scrawny, Scottish, quidditch player."  
"Sirius, back when we went to Hogwarts, you smiled and the world fell at you feet. And there is a thing called feminism now Sirius. Some girls aren't that easy any more."  
"B-b-b-b-b-b-b ut my Sirius smile always worked!" Sirius whined then his face fell, "I'm loosing it aren't I!" he curled up in a fetal position and started rocking back and forth, "If I cant get her I cant get anybody! God Remus I'm turning in to you!"  
"Oh thanks" Remus replied looking half offended and half amused "and Im supposed to be your best friend"  
"Remus, how could you sit there looking so calm when the only girl you've kissed in about 13 years is drooling over some inexperienced little boy?" Sirius countered  
He ran his hand through his hair and sighed loudly. Chibi Chel and Nano Nette were erupted in silent giggles  
"Chibi Chel" Nano Nette said "I tink tat we need to do some match making!"  
"Nano Nette" Chibi Chel exclaimed! "Tat is such a good idea!"  
The two little one's ran back to there counterparts. Nano nette pulled on Nettey hand while Chibi Chel tugged on Chel's coat.  
"Chewsea, Chewsea" Chibi Chel sang, " I know what Wemmi and Siwius were talking about!"  
"Yea!" Nano Nette cut in "Tay was so jelly-us tat you were not just wit tem!"  
"So this is what that's about" Chel said, looking back at a dejected Remus.  
"Awww" Nettey said "I love my Sirius!"  
"Hey whats about me" Oliver said  
Nettey turned around and looked at the tape recorder  
"Keep talking, buddy"  
Chelsea plopped down on the floor, putting on hand to her temple, eye eyes shut, releling the drark gray shadow that covered her lids.  
"What wrong?" Nettey asked, concerned.  
Chelsea put one finger up and replied, "Chelsea is not in right now for her mindis preoccupied with an evil yet clever idea, but you call is important to us..."  
"Yeah yeah yeah whatever!" Nettey laughed, "Just make your evil manipulative plotting hurry up."  
"Hey!" chelsea laughed as she look up with amber eyes, glimmering mischievous. "Let the master do her work alright? you go off and do... well... what ever it is that you do."  
"Alright!" nettey sighed as she kicked the ground and whirled around, looking for somehting to do. Then it hit her.  
"Woah." she drawled in awe as she looked at the gryffendor flag, "that looks just like a color guard flag."  
Chel just shook her head as her friend tried desperately to get the flag down from the high place it was hanging. As Chel developed her evil plot Nettey managed to get the flag down and was now dancing through the room and hitting any girls that threatened to get within 10 feet of the guys. One of these "girls" was Professor McGonagal.   
"What is the meaning of this?" Professor McGonagal screamed seething with anger.  
"Well you see Minnie." Nettey replied in a smart-ass jaunting voice, "Me and my dear friend Chel here have decided to reek some havoc on this boring castle, so if breaking about a hundred laws to make that happen is wrong. Im guess we're guilty."  
Chelsea, at hearing her insane friends out burst put her head in her hands.  
"Nettey" Chel started with forced calmness "Your not supposed to say YOUR GULTY" she lost her self control at and screamed out the last few words   
At this nettey blushed and smacked her hand against her forehead, "Let me rephrase that." she held the flag proudly in her hand and declared 'We are not innocent!"  
"NETTEY!" Chel yelled, annoyance over comming her, "Thats that same thing!"  
Nettey just looked at her and smiled, "well it sounds better that way." nettey eyes glanced over to the corner to see a in the dumps sirus and a sulking remus. a trademark grin flashed across her face as her turned to mcgonagal and said, "Minnie, I solmnly swear that i'm up to no good.", "is that any better?" she called over her shoulder to chel.  
"well its better than we are guilty." chel admitted.  
"What is the meaning of this!"McGonagal yelled, her hair falling out of her bun.  
At this chelsea stood up, her evil manipulative planning interupted, she took a step toward Mcgonagal and smiled, "Oh nothing, you know just a pair of insane girls, with equally in sane mini mes decided to come to hogwarts and abduct our favorite... men. as you can see," she motioned to the couch to where many boys where tied up, oilver still talking at wand point from both chibi's "those are now our s. And the two boys in the corner over there." she jerked her chin towards remus and sirius, "are our bitches."  
At this sirus and remus stood up and waved at their rormer teacher. "B-b-black and l-l-l-lupin?" was as she could sputter out before she passed out on the floor.  
"Hey." sirius siad to remus, elbowing him in the ribs, "looks like we still got it"  
"why did i ever trust you to show us where the ravenclaw common room was." chelsea complained, loudly to sirius who was leading the group aimlessly around the halls.  
"This was much easier 20 years ago and back then i had the map." sirius sneered, glaring at chelsea, who just glared the Chel Glare of Death *tm* back at the marauder. "You think you can do better?"  
Chel just smiled sweetly and pushed her short self to the front of the quartet, "Absolutly." chelsea cleared her throat and took a deep breath. "YO DOES ANY BODY KNOW HOW TO GET TO THE GOD DAMN HUFFLE PUFF COMMON ROOM FROM HERE!"  
"Are you stupid or somthing!" sirus hissed, somebody is goignt o find you two and kick you out!"  
"Yeah" remus added in, looking all cute in his flustered... flusteredness.   
"yeah i would love to see somebody try." chel said triumphantly with one hand on her hip. "I have a whole freeaking arsenal in my coat and your afraid that some one is goign to remove me, Chelsea, from some where. dammit even if they tried... i would just call my father and he would come and buy you out."  
"Is that true?" an oily voice said behind them the four teenagers whipping aroudn to home nose to hooked nose to severus snape. "who are you four?"  
Nettey and chelsea stepped foward and flahed their badges, "FHGOA" the said simultaniously.  
"I'm Chel. i am the manipulator of the group... if something bad happens to you, odds are it was my idea. i am also the deranged one who likes to chase people around in circles wiht my sword." chel said wiht a deadly seriousness "would you like to see?"  
"Im Nettey!" nettey interupted, before chel took sev's head off. " im the deceiving and conniving insane one that hits ppl with color guard flags"  
"And you two?" snape asked, looking at the two hot male teenagers behind the defenceive girls.  
"You dont remember us!" sirius cried, his voice full of laughter, "Snapey poo i am dissapointed in you! you would think after all the good times weve had togehter you would at least remmeber my face!"  
"Black" snape siad with loathing " lupin." he began to roll up his sleaves and start towrds the two boys when nettey whacked him over the head with her flag that chelsea pulle dout of her pocket.   
While nettey chased snape around chelsea took off her jacket and handed it to remus. She had her favorite black muscle tee with everlast across the cheast. "Rem. Hold this for a second." she siad sweetly while he mutly nodded, hiding his red face from an oblivous chel. chel rummaged though her pockets until she found what she was looking for. with a grin on her face she pulled out her competition braod sword and gave it a few slashes, wathcing the red and black sashed dance.  
"Oh Snape!" chelsea siadin a a sing song voice and she joined nettey in her game of 'lets see who can draw blood first.'  
the two girl where having a ball but the both stopped deadin thier tracks when they heard a female voice. "Hey there sexy."  
  
  
  
OK I'm dunn.... But only for now... the story aint over... but its 18 pages long! 


End file.
